if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
