I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
