So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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