remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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