Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize