That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I love you. Go after that dick
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
