I'm gonna have a badass scar
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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