Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
