the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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