I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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