Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
