Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
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Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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