I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
