"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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