the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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