Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This is my gift to your gina
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
