OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
