Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
