So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
