seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
