She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
