hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
