she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
