this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
