Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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