we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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