he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't think brook has ever known best
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
