Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
