It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
