if only i could text you this smell
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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