Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
