NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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