Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
