Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize