no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
