You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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