take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
