Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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