he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
