Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
