she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we're making bets on your personal life
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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