i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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