no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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