Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize