i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
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As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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