Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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