That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
