It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well I just put wine in my tea
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
