i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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