I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
