We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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