I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize