Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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