Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
