Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
