you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
