That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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