Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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