he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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