In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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