My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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