Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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