remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize