I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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