i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
